Of Love: A Message to my Daughter as she Launches her Career in the Non-Profit Sector
By: Mide Akerewusi, CSR-P, CDEP
Dear Young lady, I love you!
You are used to hearing me say that I am your number one fan! It’s true! Nobody adores you as much as I do. There’s so much to tell you, and too little space to write. Because I love you, I feel the need to warn you and to also assure you. I feel compelled to share this letter of love. It is intended for you and others who share your situation – Black women in the non-profit sector. Out of necessity you form a resistance to racism. Your work is steeped in love, however, this work must also endure the barbs of discrimination.
“Hatred is your reward for our love”– Bob Marley.
Of You
You identify your pronouns – “she”– “her”– “they”. Yet and in the non-profit sector your are an adjective, “the Black girl”– the “Black person”– the “Black one”– the Black this or that. Your humanity is nearly always defined by the shade of your skin, rather than the content of your beautiful heart.
“Your work is steeped in love however, this work must also endure the barbs of discrimination.”
You seek a place to belong in clinics, labs, surgeries, schools, and offices. Each day, you deal with objections to your presence in white-dominated spaces. Like sexism, which you also navigate, racism has a way of making its victims question their worth.
“Say it loud, I am Black and I am proud”– James Brown
Of Racism
I want to share some thoughts with you in regard to the real, live, and present situation of racism in this sector. I want to declare that this sector is inherently good but that racism keeps it from being exceptionally great. Early as you are into your career journey, it took only months for you to spot racism. As I previously wrote, racism is experienced on the most mundane of days.
You felt the manifestation of this lately when a senior white nurse told you in the most direct of ways (to your face) that you did not belong in the medical place and space which she occupied. She assumed that your love for your job and good intentions were a veneer for something sinister – a harming of patients and an attack on their safety. She judged that your presence as a Black woman was an offence to patient wellbeing. She questioned your qualifications as a health professional. She sought to demean your African name, asserting that it was not worthy of full pronunciation. Instead, she implied that such a name was strong evidence for a complaint against your presence. She fictionalised an offence. It was totally made up in her racist white mind, and in so doing, she devastated your day.
“I want to declare that this sector is inherently good but that racism keeps it from being exceptionally great.”
She became yet another antagonist in your story of racism in our world. I know that this was not the first time you had been told that you did not belong within a circle of white non-profit professionals, though you are indeed a remarkable professional. Regrettably, it will not be the last.
My dear lady, I write to you today to inform you that over the coming months and years, whiteness will most definitely be the cause of further accusations, further scorn, and further prejudice while you are at work, while you are at rest, and while you are at play.
I know that in your quiet reflective moments, the pain of these insults will linger. These ugly encounters with racism are as damaging as they are spontaneous. They shake your heart physically, rattle your mind emotionally, and rock your resolve spiritually. These impacts have nothing to do with your job – ensuring the welfare of cancer patients. They have everything to do with white insecurity – the fear of a Black woman. Racists seek out their prey. Some days, you are their victim.
You are also Black and strong. As surely as you are Black you will fight hate. You will demand dignity over disrespect, humanity over humiliation. To stand up for your rights means that you will inevitably be in conflict with those who seek to deprive you of those rights.
“Strong enough to take the pain, inflicted again and again” – Nina Simone
Of White Rage
It took all your courage to stand up to this bully. But you did it. You asserted your identity, your name, your role, your job, your qualifications, your right and your displeasure. You let her know that you saw her attack as an effort to undermine you. Your truth is the weapon that neutralises white rage. This rage comes from racism, which comes from attitudes that form white supremacy:
“As surely as you are Black you will fight hate. You will demand dignity over disrespect, humanity over humiliation.”
Prejudice: forming and promoting opinions without knowledge or objectivity
Power: Manifesting the choice, voice, and control of white people over that of people of other colours and cultures
Culture blindness: assuming that only white culture matters and all other colours and cultures are inferior or relative to whiteness
Perceived comfort: accepting people on the basis of their proximity to, and reflection of, whiteness
Fear: feeling danger when among non-white people and cultures
Change resistance: longing to maintain the culture of whiteness and benefit from its inherent privileges
Racism is the opposite of love. Racism seeks to destroy, never to edify. Racism pulls down, never builds up.
“But you keep on putting your foot on me, And I believe, I believe I can break away” – Syl Johnson
Of Solutions
We are in a sector that sees Black people as the problem – the problem of poverty, the problem of diversity, and the problem of difference. However, we see ourselves as holding solutions – the solutions to injustice, the solutions to mediocrity, and the solutions to stagnation.
I do not consider our situation to be of “us against them.” Rather, I believe we are all subjects in a system that centres skin colouration as a marker of human significance. Can you imagine an ocean where fish with white scales exert power over fish with Black scales? Divisions according to race are the way our society operates. A young woman in Black skin must surely be in cleaner’s overalls, not nurse’s scrubs.
We must do all that we can to deconstruct the racist power system in the non-profit sector. All people who value equity have a role to play. Invite your white colleagues to do the same. Challenge them to uphold equity in three ways:
Accept and acknowledge the testimonies of those with lived experience of racism, without needing to argue with or deny their truth
Take a stand against prejudice and racism wherever they see it
Undertake the journey of allyship by being responsible for their own actions
“Being Black in this world is dangerous. Continue to be brave, determined, and smart. Above all, remember you are not alone.”
Racism benefits white people, while disadvantaging Black people. When you demand equity, be clear about what constitutes a real solution versus a performative action. Real solutions require the transfer of power from white to Black. Performative actions create busyness while keeping things the same. When people truly dismantle a racist power structure, everything changes.
“What doesn’t come out in the wash, comes out in the rinse” – Nas
Of Tomorrow
Being Black in this world is dangerous. Continue to be brave, determined, and smart. Above all, remember you are not alone. Of the small minority of people who may resent your career path, there are many more who will be aligned to your spirit, your love, your skills, and your brilliance.
Who knows what tomorrow holds? Know that as you stand for equity; your very presence contributes to a resilient non-profit sector. Do not tire in this work. Maintain hope. The sector needs you to solve its complex problems, bring healing, and lead its teams into greatness.
“We all must live our lives always feeling, always thinking the moment has arrived” – Tracy Chapman
I love you, young lady.
From your number one fan!
M.